I feel toxic, like sledge, sick!  Sad, depressed, numb to my life!  Just want to sleep!  I’m not sure what I’m doing here, what God intended for me to do really.  I’m sure I am not measuring up, whatever the goal here is.  God has disappeared anyway I probably bored Him (well I can’t say to death can I?)

need a big change, i feel it coming on, i feel restless….perhaps a fast would help me with the toxic sledge and my need for spirit to be lifted.  I haven’t fasted before but I find myself reading about it alot lately.  Perhaps God is talking to me after all.  We will see.